A Series: Dating at 21 (Pt. 3)

Part 3: Being Single

I’m not here to lecture you about “How to be Single”, because I seriously don’t even know myself. I mean, I know what makes me happy and what doesn’t – but is that the same thing? Maybe.

The reason why “being single” can be deemed negative is simply this: we are living in a time where everyone is telling us that being single means being lonely, undesirable, or unattractive. DON’T BELIEVE IT. There are various pressures and a certain ambiguity surrounding what is dating versus “seeing someone”; we get caught up in this mental battle of what we want and what society is telling us we want.

In all seriousness, being single is nothing like the movies, articles, or what society is forcing down our throats. The grass is always greener on the other side. This nails it.

I am a firm believer in treating someone the way you want to be treated – oh that infamous Golden Rule of life. So what happens when it isn’t mutual? It’s simple…you leave and focus on yourself for a bit.

I don’t think it is fair to anyone, especially yourself, to jump from relationship to relationship, WITHOUT recognizing who you are as a person and what you want. I’m not suggesting to boycott dating, but just be aware of what you want in the relationship. Because there is nothing wrong with being single and taking that time to recharge. Sometimes being alone is the cheapest and easiest remedy.

While I was visiting home last month, I mentioned to my mom that “I am totally okay with dying alone”. I didn’t mean this is a dark or twisted way – it was an expression I used to explain that “I am okay with being alone right now, and don’t feel pressure to be with someone, for the sake of being with someone”.

So, this made me think…the biggest obstacle with dating today compared to when our parents were younger is the TYPE of dating and (so-called) convenience it has provided us. I will touch about this in greater detail in the next post of this series, but this is relevant both in the lives of single AND taken individuals. There are so many types of apps, pieces of technology, social media channels, and just mass media in general, that we don’t really know what to do with it all. Sure, it can make a busy schedule easier to meet new people, but what is the success rate of all of this? How much of it is genuine? That’s what I’m curious to know…

At the end of the day, I enjoy my time alone – going home after a long day and jumping straight out of my work clothes into sweatpants with no judgement. Eating whatever I want, when I want it. Having the time to focus on my overall health and committing to a workout schedule. Organizing my own schedule with the freedom to plan things last minute (without having to coordinate with someone else). Of course, I enjoy the attention and affection of being with someone else – but until then, here I am.

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